Articles Posted in Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC)

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Here are five easy steps to help convince your loved one who needs to move:

1. Enlist the child, sibling, or friend who is closest to the senior to initiate the conversation. The senior needs to hear the message from the right person.

2. ​Plant the seeds in very short, non-threatening messages. For example, “Gee, I noticed that you are having a little trouble getting yourself dressed. Don’t you think you would benefit from a little help?” Change the message at the right moment at the next attempt. “I noticed you have been eating a lot of cold cereal instead of a meal. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone cook your meals for you?” Space out the messages and deliver them at the opportune times. It may take months for a senior to decide you are right.

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When you have completed the daunting task of choosing the right senior living community for your loved one, your next mission will be to prepare for his/her move. It is very likely that the senior will be moving to an apartment or room that will be much smaller than his/her current living arrangement. Decisions will need to be made as to which items the senior will discard, donate or keep. All of us tend to have difficulty parting with “keepsakes” to which we have emotional attachments; accordingly, it may be a wise decision to utilize the services of a professional organizer when your senior moves.

Sue Becker is a Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization. She has worked side by side with my senior clients (including those with dementia) to help them with the highly emotional task of sorting through years’ worth of keepsakes and papers and deciding which items to keep.

Keepsakes: Turn Your Muddled Mess into Meaningful Memories

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My clients are a couple ages 78 and 80. The couple’s daughter had called me and tearfully related the story of how her parents were looking at senior living options, most of which would not fill their long-term needs. Like many of my clients, they had lost a significant amount of money in the most recent economic crisis, and they were living in a condominium where they could not afford to stay. The daughter feared that they would run out of money and be forced to move to a Medicaid community in the future. She pleaded with me to call her mother and set up an appointment to talk to them.

When I called, her mother curtly told me that they were still driving, had their faculties, and were able to evaluate the senior living communities on their own. Furthermore, they couldn’t afford services like mine. I assured her that I have lots of flexibility with the way my services are structured, and I could design a consultation that fit their budget. She said “no thanks,” and hung up.

When I relayed the situation to the daughter, she said that she would convince her parents to set up an appointment with me. To this day, I don’t know what the daughter said to her parents, but within a few days, I had an appointment set.

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Many times my stories revolve around the child of a senior who hires me to solve a parent’s senior living problems. The terms of my real life story are a little bit different this time.

My clients were a couple ages 80 and 78, respectively. They lived on the east coast, but grew up in the Chicago metro area. Like many grandparents, they wanted to move back to the Chicago suburbs to be closer to their children and grandchildren.

When I met with this couple, I was pleased to find two very polished, excessively independent individuals. One member was still working in an artistic capacity. They were more than open to sharing their financial realities with me. Their annual income was more than ample, and their net worth was well in excess of $1 million. They also had long-term care insurance.

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There are many occasions when my clients hire me as a second set of eyes and ears once they have completed the first round of tours at senior living communities. Most of the time my clients are in emergency situations. Sometimes they have selected a community and are prepared to act upon their decision, but they use me as a sounding board for their concerns. Here are two example situations where my clients were unaware of the types of questions they should have been asking:

Real-Life Story 1

My client was looking to place a loved one in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (a community that has independent living, assisted living, and a skilled nursing home all on one campus). In my client’s opinion, the senior was currently at the independent living level. I had not yet met the senior, so therefore I was unable to verify that assessment. However, during our conversation, there were indications of some health concerns that made me suspicious that the senior was more appropriate for assisted living. The client had toured a large number of senior living communities and was leaning toward selecting one in particular. I indicated to my client that if the senior was to enter at the independent living level, that was fine. But, I had knowledge that the assisted living area had a ratio of Certified Nurse Assistants to Residents of 1 to 20. Such a ratio is not acceptable for a community that is delivering a large amount of hands-on care to its residents. I advised my client to question the Admissions Director about the ratio I shared with my client.

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After a long and often gray winter, it is wonderful to start seeing green again – whether it is the lively colors of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, the first signs of daffodils and tulips, or early Easter decorations.   Spring is rightly associated with fresh starts and new beginnings, and so it might well be a good time to discuss senior living options for the older individual or couple in your life.

Many families have seen a senior loved one’s health decline over the course of winter, or watched with concern as “the house seems to be getting away from Mom and Dad’s ability to keep up with it.”  Hence, spring might be the time to suggest a fresh look at senior living options available in your area.

Here are three tips to keep in mind if you are trying to convince a senior to move or are merely attempting to bring up this sometimes-delicate subject:

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089I remember when I received a phone call from an 82-year-old client who was crying piteously. She needed to move to a senior living community because the upkeep on her house was just too burdensome. She was terrified that she could not take her 80-pound Labrador with her. In addition, she wanted to continue to send the dog to the same doggy day care organization on a daily basis because the dog loved the socialization with the other dogs.

Although my initial phone calls to area senior living communities were met with some raised eyebrows from several of the Admissions Directors, I was able to find my client a beautiful apartment with a sliding back door and a backyard. She could lead the dog straight out the back door. In addition, it was within the specified distance so the doggy day care bus could still pick up the dog!

Generally, here are the rules regarding pets at senior living communities:

  1. Although a dog weighing under 40 pounds is typically not an issue, you can use some bargaining power for dogs that are bigger. Many independent living communities are not full. Most Admissions Directors will be willing to accept a dog as long as the senior can take care of it and it is well-behaved. Cats are not a problem.
  2. Assisted living communities (non-memory care) are willing to accept a dog or cat as long as some provision is made to take care of the animal. Many places charge an annual fee, up front, to assist with taking care of the pet.
  3. If your loved one needs to move to a nursing home, you need to make other arrangements for a pet. Many nursing homes have a community dog or cat. But, you will have to make arrangements to have your loved one’s dog visit.

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Sometimes, the last person a senior wants advice from is his or her own child. After all, a senior loved one is the person who may have changed your diaper. The role reversal that occurs as a senior ages can be psychologically painful for him/her as the child now takes on the parental role. As a result, the senior may not want to listen to what the child has to say.

I am often hired to intercede in situations where a senior is reluctant to move or an independent senior is “sitting on the fence” as to whether now is the time to move or stay at home.

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Real-Life Story

I was hired by the child of a senior whose parents were taking a trial stay at a local Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). I was hired after the trial move had occurred. The parents had lived in their own home, which was located two hours away from their two children. Although independent at this point, each parent had health problems that would require attention in the future. Both adult children had health issues of their own and admitted to me that travelling to the parents’ home to take care of housecleaning, errands, and well-being checks was getting to be too much for them to handle. One child had taken on more of the responsibility for their needs and was failing rapidly from a health perspective. I was informed that both parents had come to rely upon this particular child and were totally oblivious to the fact that it was becoming a burden to her. In addition, I was told that the neighborhood where the parents lived was changing, and the windows to the house had been shot out twice over a two-year period. Due to the neighborhood decline, home care wasn’t an option. The entire family was fighting, the parents would not list to their children, and one child told me they were considering family counseling. In addition, the 30-day trial at the CCRC was coming to an end, and the parents had their bags packed to move back home.

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During a recent presentation to a group of independent seniors, a gentleman asked me if there were any rating systems available for Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Here are the some resources that I find helpful:

If you are looking into the financial strength of a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), the Fitch Ratings are helpful. Lest this recommendation sound too “money oriented” to some readers, here I note that it is only natural – and prudent – to want a senior living option where the community has both the resources and the stability to ensure a high quality of service to its clients, and for years to come. Fitch Ratings were founded over 100 years ago by the Fitch Publishing Company, a provider of financial statistics. The ratings are comprised of credit rating scales that give a snapshot of the organization’s potential to honor its financial obligations. This could include repayment of principal, interest, dividends or insurance claims.

Basically, Fitch Ratings are credit rating scales that indicate an organization’s potential for honoring its financial obligations to its investors. (In one sense, seniors “invest” when they select a CCRC). Grades ranging from ‘AAA’ to ‘BBB’ (described as investment grades) are assigned to those operations that fall into the low to moderate risk category. Grades of ‘BB’ to ‘D’ are assigned to operations with “speculative grade” or a greater level of credit risk. Some operations carry a grade of “NR,” which indicates they have not been rated by Fitch.

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As the former Admissions Director of a retirement community that offered independent living, assisted living, and intermediate nursing care, I often had to convince the senior that it was time for him/her to move. Some of the seniors (and their children) knew that it was time to move. Other seniors were extremely resistive. One circumstance stands out in my mind that may offer you some tips on how to convince the senior to move. As a senior living advisor and Certified Care Manager, I find my past experiences to be invaluable to share with my clients.

Real Life Story
My prospect for the retirement community was a seventy-eight year old senior who I will call Mary. Mary was living alone in her own home. She had Parkinson’s disease but could perform all of her activities of daily living on her own. She was the perfect candidate for independent living! The house was located in a changing neighborhood. Her daughter, Lynn, brought her to the home for a tour because Mary’s home had been burglarized. Mary was mugged during the burglary.

During the entire tour and interview, Mary cried piteously and kept repeating that she didn’t want to leave her home. The daughter and I kept insisting that Mary’s safety was at risk. Lynn was also the only relative in the Chicago metropolitan area, and lived in a suburb that was over 25 miles from where Mary lived. I also stressed during the interview that Mary’s Parkinson’s disease would become worse at some point in time. The community would offer additional assistance as well as being closer to Lynn.

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