Articles Posted in Assisted Living

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“There’s no place like home for the holidays,” sings Perry Como in the Christmas classic composed by Robert Allen and recorded in 1954. But despite the wonderful lyrics of writer Al Stillman, sometimes you can (and maybe even should) reconsider what best constitutes “home sweet home.” For a senior whose health or faculties are failing, or who would benefit from greater socialization and/or daily living support, the holidays can be a good opportunity for family members to bring up life planning for the new year. It is, after all, one of the few times of the year when loved ones gather and may pause to converse leisurely around the kitchen or dining table.

Here are three tips to consider this holiday if you are trying to convince a senior to move or even simply trying to bring up this often delicate subject:

Do not use words such as “nursing home” or “facility” or “institution” during a conversation with the senior. Instead, use the words “retirement community,” “continuing care retirement community,” or “alternative living option.” A lot of seniors have awful memories of a loved one living in an old-time nursing home, with few to no amenities, and little sophistication with regard to geriatric needs. Your older loved one might not realize how senior living communities have changed. They are not your Grandma’s nursing home anymore!

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20171031_141154-2-300x225How in the world are busy professionals who also have growing children supposed to find the time to handle their aging parents’ issues – both health and living arrangements?

More and more of them are turning to experienced professionals who have experience in the field and can assist with everything finding the most cost effective and person-centered elder care, to interviewing potential home caregivers, to dealing with legal and financial specialists, to acting as a liaison to Medicare and long-term care insurance companies and even to paying bills.

Chicago Senior Living Advisors, based in Inverness, provides personalized Geriatric Care Management which is designed to assist family members or other unpaid people who are caring for an elderly or cognitively impaired loved one, according to Andrea Donovan, president.

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As I have mentioned in the past, the lines between the levels of care provided by long-term care communities have become very blurred. As the number of assisted living communities providing specialized memory care seems to increase every week, here are some of the things you need to look out for if you are contemplating moving a loved one to one of them:

Last month, I was hired by a family to advocate for their grandfather who had recently turned 100 years old. He was living in an assisted living community that specialized in memory care. Please note that the level of care offered was assisted living only and did not include a third higher level of care, i.e., skilled nursing. When he entered the community a year ago, he had been totally ambulatory and able to take care of all of his activities of daily living with cueing. Shortly after he entered, the community physician decided to take him off of all of his memory-related medications (without the consent of the family), because the doctor felt the medications were adversely affecting the patient’s kidneys. The grandfather went into withdrawal and ended up in a wheel chair needing total assistance with all activities of daily living.

In addition, the absence of using one of the dementia medications made the grandfather combative. The staff at the community claimed that he was at times in need of a three-person assist. Normally, a two-person assist and beyond indicates that person should be in a nursing home. The staff requested that the family look elsewhere for a new community for their grandfather. The staff also requested that the family hire a private caregiver to assist Grampa with his activities of daily living and prevent him from getting out of bed. The cost of his care in assisted living was $8,300 a month, just as much as a nursing home, plus the cost of a caregiver. Since the grandfather was already 100 years old, the grandchildren did not want to move him. Upon the request of the grandchildren, I was asked to attend the quarterly care plan meeting (attended by the Administrator and representatives of dietary maintenance, social work and nursing). Here is what happened:

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Elder abuse is a crime. It can occur whether your loved one is at home, attending adult day care, or living in a senior living community. And like any other crime, you have an obligation to report it. This month, I have asked one of my trusted partners, Mike and Mary Doepke of Home Helpers Home Care of Hinsdale, to share some information on Elder Abuse:

From all outside appearances, 80-year-old Shirley seemed well cared for by the niece who had moved in with her a few months earlier. She even told her friends how she was enjoying the company and the help around the house.

Shirley had always been frugal with her credit cards, using them only when needed. So when the bank called to ask her about some recent, unusual charges on her account, she was alarmed. She was even more surprised to find out that the purchases were made by the niece she had welcomed into her home.

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This week, I was overjoyed when a former client called me to tell me about her mother’s progress. Her mother was a young 70 when they became my clients less than a year ago. When I first met the elder during an assessment, she was at a short-term rehabilitation community and was covered under Medicare. She had been living in an independent living community with a 24-hour caregiver. A stroke had left her unable to use her left side. Then, the caregiver dropped her while she was transferring her in the bathroom and broke my client’s leg. That is how she ended up in a nursing home receiving short-term rehabilitation.

My client’s 100-day allotment under Medicare rehab was coming to an end, and she soon would have to begin paying privately. Although the care was satisfactory at the current community, she wanted a private room. This nursing home didn’t offer any private rooms. She did have the personal funds to pay privately for quite a while, even though the rate for a private room was over $300 per day. I knew, however, that since she was a young 70, and the cost of nursing home can run $9,000 and above for a private room, she would need the safety net of Medicaid if her money ran out. Because the stroke and the broken leg had left her totally disabled, she had to be transferred in and out of bed, bathroom and shower with the use of a Hoyer lift. I sent the senior’s adult children to tour a half dozen selected communities with the needed equipment, but nothing seemed to pass muster in their eyes. Either the rate for a private room was way too high, they didn’t like the Admissions Director, or the aesthetics were not what they wanted. They were being very specific about their location preference. Finally, I identified a community that was half-way in between for both daughters and had several Hoyer lifts available for the residents’ use. I was also very selective about the physical therapy that would be available to my senior client, as the daughters stated that she may want to pay privately for additional therapy. The therapists at the community were actually employees of the nursing home, not a separate agency. As a result, I knew she would have a better chance at receiving therapy from the same therapists.

When I recently spoke to the daughter, she said, “I have been meaning to call you. My mother has been moved from the nursing home (needing full assistance with bathing, transferring, toileting, dressing, walking and eating) to the assisted living area (some hands-on assistance with the aforementioned activities) of the nursing home. She can transfer in and out of bed and bathroom without the assistance of the Hoyer lift. The cost of her care was also reduced! And it is all because the therapists at this community worked so closely with her to improve her condition. Thank you!”

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About one-half of the clients who engage me for my services do so after they have already selected a community for a loved one. Then, when a problem arises, they call me to help fix the problem. Unfortunately, no one has a crystal ball and can anticipate some of the unusual circumstances that can arise. Most of the time, clients are so pre-occupied with fixing the senior living problem that exists now, they do not consider what can happen in the future. Clearly no one is to blame, as it is always what we do not anticipate that causes a problem.

Real-Life Story

My clients were the children of a senior aged 78. She had been placed at a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) that offered Independent Living, Assisted living, Assisted living with a memory care unit, and Skilled Nursing care. She had a lovely apartment in the independent living area that required an entrance fee of more than $200,000 when she moved in.

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Many seniors have a tendency to keep private their financial realities. However, if your senior loved one purchased long-term care insurance to cover the costs of a stay in a community or to hire non-medical home care, you will want to ask if you can look at it. I say this based on the experience I had with my mother, and I share our story lest you should have the same experience.

My mother purchased a long-term care policy 25 years ago. I was amazed that the insurance carriers were able to underwrite her at age 70. Thankfully, she was well enough to pass the underwriting since she had no serious medical issues at the time. However, the agent who sold the policy to her (and who had bragged that she was the number one producer at her company) was not exactly prudent when designing the structure of the plan for a claim that could occur in the far future. The plan that was sold to my mother included a 90-day waiting period before any benefit would be paid. Such waiting periods are common. The plan maximum paid up to $100 per day. That, too, was all right for a plan that was purchased 25 years ago. However, the agent neglected to sell my mother her an inflation guard benefit which would increase her plan’s benefit by 3-4% per year. If an inflation guard benefit had been included, the benefit she would receive would be much more in line with the currents costs charged by her senior living community. The bottom line is, based on the plan purchased 25 years ago, my mother will receive a benefit that will cover $3,000 of her $6,000 monthly cost.

While I am thankful she had the policy, it would have been more valuable if the inflation coverage had been included at its inception. If you know or suspect your aging loved one has purchased a long-term care policy, ask if you can sneak a peek at it!

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I remember fifteen years ago when I started as an Admissions and Marketing Director in the senior living industry, my future boss took me on a complete tour of the community. Or so I thought.

The community included independent living, where most of the seniors were well off mentally and ambulated with, at worst, a cane. The next level of care was assisted living, which at the time was an extension of independent living. But, the residents at that level received “standby” assistance with bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring, eating, and walking. At worst, seniors there ambulated with the help of a walker. No wheel chairs were allowed. Last, there was nursing home level, or the dreaded fifth floor that was reserved for residents who could no longer function at the independent living or assisted living level. Most were in wheel chairs and needed total assistance with their activities of daily living. Or, some suffered memory impairment and were at risk for wandering. The fifth floor was equipped with a security code for the elevator and an alarm for those residents who might attempt to leave unattended.

When my boss conducted the tour, he showed me the independent living and the assisted living areas, both of which were places where the residents appeared to be happy. However, after I began working there, I was sent to complete a task on the fifth floor where the residents needed total assistance with everything. Being new to the industry, I was like many of my clients taking a tour of a nursing home for the first time. I was nervous and terrified! I rushed down to my boss’s office and told him that I was exceedingly upset that I was not told that the fifth floor existed. As time went on, I grew to love the residents on the fifth floor. There we were encouraged to take a break from the regular tasks of the day, attend scheduled activities, or just talk.

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Last week, I received a phone call from a prospective client who was in panic mode. The client’s parent, who has dementia, had moved in with him on a permanent basis. The parent had been spending several days a week with three adult children. A family disagreement, the details of which were not disclosed to me, had occurred. As a result, the senior was not allowed to return to the other two children’s homes. My client was now responsible for the parent’s care on a 7-days-a-week basis and was not able to cope with the situation. In addition, his spouse was having issues with her own health. I quickly went out to assess the senior’s physical and mental condition.

When I arrived, I found a very healthy 88 year old. The senior could not, however, tell me what day of the week it was, his date of birth, or who the President is, which are all typical questions that are asked on a mini-mental examination. The senior’s ambulation was very good. The senior was an excellent prospect for assisted living with memory care.

After I completed my assessment, which included analysis of the senior’s financial realities and the family’s location preferences, the client told me that he wanted my recommendations completed in 2 days. The next morning, I sent him spreadsheets that included information regarding three senior communities that fit his specifications, and I immediately set up appointments for tours. I advised my client to obtain the senior’s medical history and physical form from the senior’s physician. I also told him to collect the senior’s financial information.

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Here are five easy steps to help convince your loved one who needs to move:

1. Enlist the child, sibling, or friend who is closest to the senior to initiate the conversation. The senior needs to hear the message from the right person.

2. ​Plant the seeds in very short, non-threatening messages. For example, “Gee, I noticed that you are having a little trouble getting yourself dressed. Don’t you think you would benefit from a little help?” Change the message at the right moment at the next attempt. “I noticed you have been eating a lot of cold cereal instead of a meal. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone cook your meals for you?” Space out the messages and deliver them at the opportune times. It may take months for a senior to decide you are right.