My clients were a very pleasant, alert, 90 year old woman and her son. The son had been gainfully employed by a major corporation and had been transferred to a state out west. He liked the new location very much and remained there once he was retired. His mother had lived here in the Chicago area all of her life. When she could no longer take care of herself, the son chose to move her to an assisted living community here. She had lived in the suburbs all of her life and wanted to be in close proximity to the cemetery where her husband was buried. She had an excellent support system here, consisting of many personal friends who visited her and members of her church who came to give her communion at least once a week. In addition, the son hired me to act as her advocate for several hours a week. His long-term plan was eventually to find a senior living community for her out west where he was living. In the interim, he wanted me to monitor the visits from the nurse who was tending to a wound on his mother’s leg, ensure that her hearing aids were charged, make certain she arrived at her ophthalmologist appointments, and see that her mind was being occupied by decent activities and going outside.
At first my elderly client was rather wary of me. But we developed a wonderful relationship. She was very frank with me with regard to the staff at the local community. She was in the assisted living area of a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), including independent, assisted, and nursing home living, because she needed standby assistance with bathing, dressing, and putting in her hearing aids. On occasion she needed to use a wheel chair for long distances, and was in need of 24-hour supervision. However, she complained of long waits when she pushed her wrist pendant for summoning help. She said that when she did get help, some of the staff members were nice and others were not. She often mentioned to me that the activities were not very interesting. She told me she didn’t complain to staff or to her son because her son tried so hard to do a good job. She did mention that the food was wonderful. Overall, I got the impression that she was just putting up with things and would like to be happier with better staffing and activities.
The son eventually contacted me and said he found a new community for his mom out west and gave me the dates of her departure. I met with the son and his mom to say good-bye. The son told me that his mom was going to be living in an independent living/assisted living/memory care community. He explained to me that the independent living and assisted living residents lived in the same area in the new community because state law prohibited them from being separated. He expressed concern over the potential wait time involved when she pushed her pendant button. I asked him if he had asked what the ratio of staff to residents was and he replied “No.” I asked if he had checked the activity schedule for the types of things that might make his mom happy. I did not receive a clear affirmative answer. Since his mother loved the food at her original, local community, I asked if he had tried the food at the new community out west. Again, the answer was no. When I asked why he went with a community that lacked a nursing home component, he said he was told that any of the services she needed could be brought into her apartment. I’m not certain he was aware of how astronomical the costs of ordering ala carte services into an assisted living apartment can be.
When my client was told she was moving, she was upset because she didn’t want to leave her home of 90 years and the place where her husband was buried. But, she kept quiet because the son had to make a 4-hour plane ride each time he wanted to visit her.
More than 50% of my clients hire me because they have made mistakes with a loved one’s placement the first time around. Staffing is the most important issue to be considered when choosing a senior living community for a loved one. Bad food and activities also can severely affect a loved one’s happiness. In my opinion, key components to the right placement weren’t researched this time around either. We’ll see what happens.
Do you need a second opinion? Let Andrea Donovan Senior Living Advisors help. Call us at (708) 415-2934 or email us. Please visit our website. Please watch my video to learn how the process works and learn what some clients have to say.