Chicago Senior Living Advisors Blog
I have vivid memories of the seniors picking on each other many years ago while I was an Admissions Director at a Continuing Care Retirement Community. If they weren’t fighting over the seats at Bingo that had been “saved,” they were sniping at each other in the line for flu shots at the nurse’s office. A vicious gossiper could get another resident sequestered to sitting alone at a table in the dining room by starting a rumor. There was a certain independent resident who was constantly poking fun at the assisted living residents, not realizing that one day she would be in assisted living herself. I just took it with a grain of salt.
However, there was another notorious independent living resident Bully who I will refer to as Dee. Dee had a reputation of bullying just about everyone, and was feared by every resident. One of my favorite residents was a t former Chicago policeman who was tough as nails and had a mouth like a drunken sailor. Dee even posed a problem for him. She tried to bully me by asking all sorts of intimidating questions and telling me, ” I do not like the people you are letting in here.” She harassed the wait staff horrifically by complaining about the food and the manner in which they served it. Several of the servers were often in tears. She had endless insulting conversations with the Director of Dietary that often didn’t end well. If she didn’t care for something that another resident was doing, she would literally tail them up the hallway with her purse dangling and calling out insults after them.
At one point, I admitted a very attractive older woman who I will refer to as Lee. She was well dressed, personable, and the rest of the residents liked her. She befriended one of the male residents, who I will simply refer to as Jay. After dinner every night, Jay and Lee would get together in Jay’s room. The door was always open, and they would talk late into the night, sometimes until one o’clock in the morning. Dee had this terrible habit of walking the hallways late into the night. The other residents told me that the fact that the two residents were talking late into the night didn’t bother them. The weren’t making any noise and the door was always open so they knew nothing was happening. Apparently, Dee didn’t have the same reaction. She was often seen on the third floor walking back and forth in front of Joe’s room.
One night, Dee decided that she was going to confront Jay and Lee. She told Lee that it was inappropriate for her to be spending so much time in a man’s room, particularly when she wasn’t married to him. Then, the canes and purses started swinging, and a physical altercation ensued. The bottom line was that Lee moved out on her own volition. Dee was asked to find other housing for herself by the Administrator.
Although not much research has been on this particular topic, you can read more about it at:
https://www.seniorhomes.com/bullying-in-senior-living-communities/