Chicago Senior Living Advisors Blog
This might be the saddest story in ADSLA’s 20-year history. Around this time last year, an Elder Law attorney approached me with a case. Her client was terminally ill and the woman had a brother who was in a local supportive living community. I was told there were no other relatives. Therefore, I was asked to become the secondary Power of Attorney for both health care and finances/property for the brother in supportive living, in case the gravely ill woman did not outlive him. As it was explained to me, the man was paying privately and would continue to do so until his funds were depleted, then the supportive living facility would apply for Medicaid for him. Note: Supportive living is a type of assisted living that is supported by Medicaid. I was also told that, should the man’s sister pre-decease him, 10% of the proceeds from the sale of her house would be willed to him for his care.
Nothing happened on this case for almost a year. Then in mid-December 2025, I received a call from the terminally ill woman, telling me that she was not expected to live past Christmas. I made an appointment to meet with her in the hospice facility where she was residing.
Sadly, I found myself speaking with this woman while she was literally on her deathbed. She told me that administrators at the supportive living community had asked her brother to leave because they couldn’t provide the level of care that he now needed. We telephoned the director of nursing at the community, and she told me that the man now had a catheter that was being serviced by a home healthcare agency. Nevertheless, her staff was constantly finding him in his room, flat on the floor, and he had often defecated on himself and in his bed. I was also told he was unable to take any direction. Generally aware of a prior dementia diagnosis, I asked why he wasn’t being considered for the memory unit in the supportive living community. I was told there was a two-year wait list and he was beyond what they could handle from a caregiving standpoint. His records had already been sent to other nursing homes in the area. When I heard the names of those institutions, I immediately recognized that he was probably a candidate for public aid. Therefore, I cut right to the chase and asked his sister how much money her brother had remaining. She told me he had $40,000 left in his bank account.
Normally, I would not take on situations like this because public-aid-pending cases are extremely time-consuming, and I would not wish to be pulled away from serving my existing clients. As a sole proprietor, I honestly don’t have the manpower to devote to these kinds of cases and I stopped doing them a long time ago. But I didn’t have the heart to refer elsewhere a woman who was so sick. I immediately took on her case. Sadly, as predicted however, she died the day after Christmas.
I called my client’s brother, whom I will refer to as D. My first order was to go and collect a copy of his driver’s license, because I had to go to the bank and file his Power of Attorney so I could pay his bills. When I met D, he presented me with a stack of bills and his driver’s license, which was still active. In that meeting, I found a copy of a memory center assessment which revealed that his Lewy Body Dementia was diagnosed in 2009. My question was, “How does someone with that longstanding diagnosis still have a valid driver’s license?”
At any rate, I presented to the bank a copy of the POA and the driver’s license. The bank’s law department declined to approve the POA because the copy given to me by the lawyer was poor and had cut off much of the language. Luckily, the gentleman who was the Executor of his sister’s will, and an absolute godsend, was able to provide me with the original. The bank accepted it, and I learned that D indeed had $40,000 remaining.
At that point the supportive facility was pressuring me to move D, so I toured two skilled nursing facilities I was confident would accept him. They proved less than desirable. A third nursing home declined to take him due to very bad behavior during a kidney-related hospitalization, where he somehow signed himself out against orders. Although his sister had told me she wanted him in a nursing home in a specific area, I chose to place him in a nursing home located 15 minutes away from me that had an excellent reputation and could work with public aid.
D had to be hospitalized for more kidney problems in the midst of all of this. While he was in the hospital, I arranged for a mover to help me transfer his items to the new nursing home with the intention of moving him there upon his release. When we arrived at his room in his supportive living community, we discovered an absolute mess with indications of hoarding behaviors. We found several knives that looked like they were used in hunting and what appeared to be a bong (which sent the movers into hysterical laughter). I left the bong there. When we got to the nursing home, the social worker confiscated the knives and helped me unpack.
When my client D arrived from the hospital, he was upset and protested that he didn’t belong there. When I explained why he was there, he said, “OK so now you are practicing medicine out of the back of your car?” Then, he accused me of stealing an onyx ring, and I told him exactly where it was. He insulted me yet further. In keeping with the rule, “Never argue with a person with dementia,” I turned on my heels and left. Ten minutes later my phone rang and he apologized.
While trying to get D settled into his new home, I received a phone call from the Executor of his sister’s will. While her house was being cleaned out to be sold, they found two rifles and a handgun. D had been living with her before his move to supportive living. The Executor tried to get the local police to come and take them, but they would not do so. The gentleman insisted that I would have to drive the guns over to the police department and the police would take them. I had no idea whether the guns were loaded or not, so so I refused to touch them. Instead, the Executor of the will found a potential buyer and introduced me to a gun dealer who came and took the firearms. I then met with the buyer and the gun dealer who wrote up a bill of sale and processed the transfer.
As time went on, Ds condition worsened. He began to physically abuse the staff at the nursing home. One nurse called me in the middle of the night and told me he grabbed her hand and pulled her fingers back so she couldn’t dispense his medications. Eventually, staff members would not enter his room without having at least two people to administer care. D refused all medications and food. He was placed on hospice and within 2 weeks he passed away.
Powers of Attorney die along with the person. Since D died without a will, I could do nothing further for him. There remained a little money, which will likely go into the land of unclaimed property unless someone steps up and investigates further possible action. D’s sister had pre-arranged cremation, but didn’t pay for disposition of the ashes. The funeral director told me that scattering ashes really isn’t allowed, but I could take the temporary container and scatter them in a secluded spot. With ADSLA’s legal obligations already long completed, the Executor of the will advised me, “Do not get involved further…period!
This long and heart-rending case captures the multiple and diverse facets of ADSLA’s work. As a certified Guardian and geriatric Care Manager Certified, frequent Power of Attorney and Chicago’s leading senior living consultant, I routinely encounter the various questions and quagmires that can arise in the realms of senior living, elder care, Medicare and Medicaid, and Elder Law. ADSLA cannot take on every single case, but, after 20 plus years on the job, we can meet the unique and often unexpected needs of our clients.